Ten Steps Ahead Podcast

Skido: 00:22

Dee, what up?

DeShawn: 00:23

What's up, Skido?

Skido: 00:24

Man, Ten Steps Ahead, the new podcast show.

DeShawn: 00:29

Yes. Welcome everyone to our podcast, 10 Steps Ahead Oh my with my homeboy Skeeto.

Skido: 00:34

And DeShawn. We out here keeping it doing what we're gonna do. I love it. You're looking beautiful today.

DeShawn: 00:40

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Skido: 00:41

You know, you people got you all

DeShawn: 00:43

Well, you know

Skido: 00:44

fly.

DeShawn: 00:44

You know? Taste of spillage. So, you know, I was saying the other day, you know, because we talk all the time on

Skido: 00:51

the phone

DeShawn: 00:51

and we just have great conversations.

Skido: 00:53

Yes. Yes.

DeShawn: 00:54

I was like, yeah, let's just let's just film it. Let's, you know, do a podcast because the because you're always, like, putting me on stuff and I'm putting you on stuff, so I thought that was a great idea, and that's how this all came about.

Skido: 01:07

Yes. It was it was so natural, and then when we was talking about it, I mean, people around us was cracking up. It was it was hilarious. I'm like, it was so funny. And they're like, yo, this thing might work.

Skido: 01:18

And you came up and called me. You know, I'm off balance. So but at the end of the day, we speak real things about you've been in the industry. I've been in the industry, and I think we need to bring something different.

DeShawn: 01:28

Absolutely.

Skido: 01:29

And I agreed, and we get along. You like a sister to me, and it's like, yo, whatever you need, let's do it.

DeShawn: 01:34

Absolutely.

Skido: 01:34

You know? And and you want your, you know, your own your own new thing, you know?

DeShawn: 01:39

Yes. Yes. Yes. We'll get into that.

Skido: 01:41

You know, looking fabulous,

DeShawn: 01:43

but go ahead. Thank you. It's been a journey.

Skido: 01:44

Yeah. It's been a journey.

DeShawn: 01:46

Yeah. It's been a journey for sure.

Skido: 01:47

Yeah. For sure. Tell them talk about it.

DeShawn: 01:49

What's the And we just gonna jump on into it? Like that.

Skido: 01:52

Know me. Wheel me in, y'all. Wheel me in. It's our first episode, so we really, you know, you're gonna see a little back and forth, but go ahead.

DeShawn: 01:59

Okay. So most people remember me from original Real Housewives of Atlanta cast member. And so after the show, I got divorced. Oh, And then because the show pretty much featured, you know, my marriage and my kids. And so then I just kinda went you know, I had to take some time off to get myself together.

DeShawn: 02:20

Was kinda a hot mess. So it's been a journey, but I'm on the other side now.

Skido: 02:26

Oh, really? Yeah. Okay. What other side?

DeShawn: 02:28

Of the journey, of

Skido: 02:29

the Did people get dark and get darker?

DeShawn: 02:31

Of the valley. You just I was down in the pit. Okay. So I had some dark then darker moments.

Skido: 02:36

Okay.

DeShawn: 02:36

But but I'm I'm I'm out of it now.

Skido: 02:39

That's what's up.

DeShawn: 02:40

But I'm still evolving, still growing.

Skido: 02:42

Okay.

DeShawn: 02:43

You know, it's different phases of it.

Skido: 02:44

I love it. I like that. I like all that, you know, we all fall, we all go through things, but the things get off, gotta get up, you gotta keep going.

DeShawn: 02:52

You know what I'm saying?

Skido: 02:53

Yep. We can, but

DeShawn: 02:54

don't break.

Skido: 02:55

Depression is crazy. Mental illness is crazy out here. You know, it's just a lot of people going through, you know, and even though he's behind the camera, real life hits.

DeShawn: 03:04

It hits.

Skido: 03:05

You know I'm saying?

DeShawn: 03:06

And I'm really glad that it hit off a camera. Mhmm. Because I know I don't know I mean, the person I am now probably could have handled it, but the person I was then could not because I would have wanted to try to have it look a certain way. Mhmm. And it's hard to try to make something look like something that's not.

Skido: 03:25

Gotcha.

DeShawn: 03:26

You know

Skido: 03:26

what mean? Yeah.

DeShawn: 03:27

So I'm I'm I'm fortunate that it did not go through

Skido: 03:30

Mhmm.

DeShawn: 03:30

You know, go happen on camera. So I think I really do think that was Scott's timing and provision and all of that.

Skido: 03:37

I see. You know I don't get caught, I know about everything.

DeShawn: 03:39

Mhmm.

Skido: 03:40

And then we I don't get to people's, you know, you don't know what they're going through, people are jumping people's business, but anything that messes with family and your household is always serious. Yeah. You know, sometimes the the thing of television and Hollywood in this industry, people could get lost and caught up. Yeah. And I've seen that being in my world, you know, you know me.

Skido: 03:59

You know, I've been a consultant. I started off doing things from back in the days to helping people in the industry, you know, being being part of a lot of things from, you know, and a couple of friends bringing me in the game and showing me the game, and it it was cool. I I I I loved it, but I didn't like it.

DeShawn: 04:20

Well, let's tell a little so do a brief introduction. Tell a little bit about you. So your name is Mosquito. He's from New York.

Skido: 04:26

From New York. And Grew up Lower East. Have

DeShawn: 04:28

four regions.

Skido: 04:29

Half black. Best of both worlds.

DeShawn: 04:31

Best of both worlds.

Skido: 04:32

You know I'm saying? And so big family in New York. Mhmm. And so love being on the Low East Side, Yonkers. You know what I'm saying?

Skido: 04:41

I moved around a lot where I lived with all my family members. Yeah. You know, moms, you know, drugs and all that stuff, but I had a good family and a lot of cousins.

DeShawn: 04:51

Okay.

Skido: 04:51

So it kept me grounded. Always been the same person, you know, guys just built different, you know, but I but through this whole journey, which you'll see through other episodes, it's been who who I am today. It made me who I am today. Absolutely. So and and I'm glad that if I could do it over again

DeShawn: 05:07

Mhmm.

Skido: 05:08

I would do it over again because

DeShawn: 05:10

Without changing anything?

Skido: 05:11

Without changing anything because when I look, I'm

DeShawn: 05:15

fat. Right.

Skido: 05:16

Right. So if I had to do all that to be this

DeShawn: 05:19

It's worth it.

Skido: 05:19

It was worth it.

DeShawn: 05:20

Mhmm.

Skido: 05:20

For sure. Yeah. So and with that note and and and knowing how God been moved, you know, changed my life, that's later. But just the fact how I learned the game Mhmm. Is just going through all the rough.

DeShawn: 05:32

So, tell me more about the rough. So, like, when you say you've from the streets.

Skido: 05:36

Yeah. But that oh, yes. Well, that's another thing.

DeShawn: 05:39

You mean from the streets?

Skido: 05:41

We can't but being for the streets is not like I'm in the streets, I just grew

DeShawn: 05:45

up Okay. Okay.

Skido: 05:46

Poor. Mean, I grew up with my grandmother, lowly side Puerto Rican, two bedroom, five people.

DeShawn: 05:50

Okay. Good.

Skido: 05:50

And I was my grandmother and my grandfather, you know, so miles was drugged, had me young, Went through a lot of things. Everybody know me for that. But, you know, but through that pain and suffering, it was it was it was and God keeping me

DeShawn: 06:06

Mhmm.

Skido: 06:06

Made me who I am. Got it. So but if he chose to tap me in my head and go, you would never drink, you would never smoke, you would never do drugs, but you would see all the destruction, and he you and he chose me because I could have been that.

DeShawn: 06:19

Right. Right. But you saw the

Skido: 06:21

effects of The the tearing my family apart, losing them to drugs and AIDS and all kind of messes, that it got to the point where when it was chaos, I was there. You know what I'm saying? My mother wasn't a bad mother, she was just a she was a addict. Yeah. But she was also a good person.

DeShawn: 06:40

Mhmm.

Skido: 06:41

But everybody's pain is different.

DeShawn: 06:43

Right. Right.

Skido: 06:43

And everything feels because you're trying to survive. As you become an adult and a parent, you start to understand their pain.

DeShawn: 06:49

Right.

Skido: 06:50

But as a kid, you just feel your suffering.

DeShawn: 06:52

Exactly.

Skido: 06:52

But through all of that

DeShawn: 06:54

So what brought you out of it? Like

Skido: 06:56

Brought me out of mine? Mhmm.

DeShawn: 06:58

Like, what was your turning point?

Skido: 07:00

Oh, man. Well, first of all, I think it got to the point where, through all that pain and suffering, I think I was I became I didn't know I was off. Okay. I thought off is reckless.

DeShawn: 07:14

Okay.

Skido: 07:15

Meaning, my hate grew. So, when I saw the people I love pulling needles out of my aunt's arm and grabbing my little cousins and all this stuff, it was trauma, but you don't know what trauma does to I think my trauma was more revenge. It it got to the point where I felt, well, if I if I take all the drug dealers, right, and I rob them and take all this, it would save my family, not thinking. So I started I would have episodes where I would just go off and go go at people at a young age and watch things, and I had a crew, and we would rob them and do it. I was doing thinking, always thinking out the box.

Skido: 07:58

I had a very creative mind.

DeShawn: 08:00

Mhmm.

Skido: 08:00

And I would always be around the mess. And being younger started, I I did a lot of bad things to bad people, not, you know, things that you go to jail for life for, but younger, enough to there's no way he's doing that.

DeShawn: 08:15

Right.

Skido: 08:16

So and then it just

DeShawn: 08:17

made me So in your mind, did you think that it was okay, because they were

Skido: 08:19

mad No, in my mind I thought I could save the world, because when I would when I would get them, they weren't they were looking for other people, but I was younger. But as I got older, it got worse. But then I would take all drugs and I would throw it in the East River, which is FDR Drive, or I'd throw it in the Hudson. But it got to the point, you know, like, everything changes.

DeShawn: 08:36

Right. Right.

Skido: 08:37

You know, your crew is your crew, and then they're like, yo, excuse We we gotta keep some of this. And I'm like, but that's that's not what I'm doing. But then it was almost a cry We don't have, you know, psychiatrists or anything. So when when I'm being trauma, all the pain and suffering, this is my way of thinking I could clean not trying to be a Robin Hood only.

DeShawn: 08:57

Right.

Skido: 08:57

I just would see him, and it would be a hate. But then and then on the other side, all my friends are gangsters and killers and drug dealers. So it was like, yeah, you're skiing. I don't like you, but I love you. You feel what I'm saying?

Skido: 09:10

Right. Because you're not doing nothing, and I don't worship drug dealers.

DeShawn: 09:14

Right.

Skido: 09:15

So, I I see my whole family's almost gone. So, it was it was more like and to this day, I don't worship I never worship a drug dealer or a gangster. I worship I worship I always had love for people that have a love for people. Right. But I say but in that course, if God put me through that, it was easy for me to, you know, save lives.

Skido: 09:37

I saved a lot of lives. So, you gotta understand what you're dealing with out here. You got animals. Right. But these animals are the people I grew up with.

Skido: 09:45

But I but I but I I it's like I walked with them, but I didn't walk among them. Mhmm. That make sense? Yeah. But I was saved.

Skido: 09:53

Now, don't do that. No. Don't kill them. Don't do that. Chill.

Skido: 09:56

You know I'm saying? Mhmm.

DeShawn: 09:57

So that same shepherding, so to speak, is what you do now Is yeah. With, you know, your colleagues and the industry and all that. Because you're more so behind the scene type

Skido: 10:06

of behind the scene. But I I know everybody.

DeShawn: 10:08

So Connecting the guys. Everybody.

Skido: 10:11

If I don't, Deshaun, if you if I don't if you're Oprah Winfrey Mhmm. I don't have to hang out with Oprah, but I know who who her right hand or her second right hand. I'm cool with them. Mhmm. Then I make the deal happen, I give them the credit, and I get the check and I go.

Skido: 10:27

Yeah. So I want I didn't care about being in the scene. Right. Right. So when people say, didn't see you at the party because I don't wanna be at the party, but I know everybody at the party.

Skido: 10:34

Right. So I just and I just noticed there was a bridge for me to help the next person get in the game, because I used to see people, yo, can you give this CD to Nori? You know, I used to go on the you know, when Nori was crossing over, you know, I've I've been down that road with him to doing daddy Yankee and all that. My boy, Bodygy, who everybody knows in this game, Bodygy from Queensbridge, Bodyguard, that's my brother.

DeShawn: 10:56

I don't know.

Skido: 10:57

Yeah. I know you. You're not there. But he brought me in. We you know, I used to run around, hold them down with my team, and, you know, it's a lot of things back in the days was different.

Skido: 11:06

You know? If it was on, it was on. It wasn't no Internet shit. You had a problem, yo, we go on the fire, you was on on-site. Okay.

Skido: 11:12

But this internet fighting and all this shit, this shit was this shit different. So I come from a different cloth.

DeShawn: 11:17

Right.

Skido: 11:17

But I don't judge nobody. That's why I got so much love. I don't care who you are. Right or wrong, you're right, you're wrong. But I don't judge because the shit God forgave me for, I can't judge nobody.

Skido: 11:28

Exactly. That's just the character who I am.

DeShawn: 11:31

That's how I am.

Skido: 11:31

So rub that in this generation, sometimes it works and sometimes it don't, you know?

DeShawn: 11:35

Yeah. Well, they don't have a framework, a frame of reference.

Skido: 11:39

Yeah.

DeShawn: 11:39

You know?

Skido: 11:40

No, they don't. You know what I'm saying? So but I'm able to get along with everybody. I got I got love for people and winning Mhmm. But you don't know that because you're you're judging how how I move, my demeanor.

Skido: 11:50

I got it strong because a presence is because the presence is strong because of the pain and the suffering. Mhmm. Then when you survive something, of course you're strong.

DeShawn: 11:59

So, you still have all that armor and stuff on you from the past.

Skido: 12:04

Yeah. But the armor's already there.

DeShawn: 12:06

But is it heavy, though?

Skido: 12:07

No. It's actually lighter since I found God.

DeShawn: 12:10

Okay. Yeah. Well, tell me about that. So tell me, what was the pivotal moment

Skido: 12:14

to,

Skido: 12:14

like

DeShawn: 12:14

Are

Skido: 12:14

we doing this this one on one? You got me on a therapist? Yeah. You a therapist? A life

DeShawn: 12:18

coach too. I'm just trying to understand. What was the pivotal

Skido: 12:21

moment? What was the

DeShawn: 12:22

pivotal moment to get you to be, you know, the man that you are now?

Skido: 12:27

Oh, man. Wow. That's a good question.

DeShawn: 12:29

Because you went to Florida.

Skido: 12:30

Yeah. Well, I had to leave to Florida because this just was getting bad. I had my daughter, God bless her, she's in China right now. Can you believe it? One little girl changed me to move, but I didn't have nothing.

Skido: 12:41

I would it just kept getting worse and worse. And then there would be times where we living in Farmers Boulevard, 1 11 Farmers. I mean, 81718 having a kid, and I and I never been a kid, you know?

DeShawn: 12:52

Yeah. Yourself.

Skido: 12:53

Moving around, living with all my cousins and family and everybody, you know, from the Puerto Rican side to the black side, in New York one day, and Jamaican queens and Yonkers One day, you know, like, Jesus, I'm all over the place. But it was it was I'm more it it took God to take me away to because he had a whole path for me.

DeShawn: 13:14

Right.

Skido: 13:14

But in New York, I don't know what the what's over the wall. So I to this day, I thank God because I had a brilliance about me. But who sees it? I'm I'm in so much destruction. I can't you we don't see it.

DeShawn: 13:28

New York. Yeah. So you have to get away from it.

Skido: 13:30

No. I didn't get away that pulled me away. Okay. Let's clear that up. I wouldn't get never left New York.

Skido: 13:35

Yeah. Why would I go to New York to move to Florida?

DeShawn: 13:36

Yeah. That's how I feel too. God had to knock me Yeah.

Skido: 13:40

It ain't a religious thing, it's a relationship.

DeShawn: 13:42

Right.

Skido: 13:43

Of But, I don't know about y'all, but I know my pain and suffering, who I used to be, and the people that know me, I know the God I serve.

DeShawn: 13:50

Amen.

Skido: 13:51

Let's get clear. And I'm not judging y'all, I know who I was.

DeShawn: 13:56

It's one thing knowing God, it's another thing experiencing And so, know, when I went through my journey, knowing that, you know, God has got your back no matter what, he's not man, he's gonna lie, you know, and all of that, and he's not gonna leave you and all this stuff, like, have a different appreciation.

Skido: 14:11

Yeah. Have man, I have a grateful appreciation, but it's this thing, when I was young, and my friends to this day call me from prison, from before they were ready to do something. You don't understand. Like, I know thousands of people. Like, if I was on that dark side, it'd be a problem.

DeShawn: 14:27

Right.

Skido: 14:27

God said, oh, no, no, no, no. Because I'm a leader. Dispatch. Yeah. No.

Skido: 14:30

Like, I really am that. You know what I'm saying? Mhmm. But the thing is, I'm built for that war, but God has me for a different war.

DeShawn: 14:38

Absolutely.

Skido: 14:38

But I'm not afraid of nothing. You know I'm saying? So I'm not caught up in people's riches and money. And then when they see I'm really like that, it's like, yo

DeShawn: 14:50

Then they love you.

Skido: 14:51

Yeah. But it's not I'm not trying to cut you down. I'm happy for everybody. Absolutely. But I'm not gonna I'm not a yes person or ungrateful you know, like, trying to put

DeShawn: 15:00

you down. Probably, like, different. So they're not because a lot of times when people, they have a group of yes men. So when there's that one person that's not that, I'm like, oh, he's different. And then, you know, they actually gravitate towards it.

DeShawn: 15:11

Yeah. I don't like people.

Skido: 15:14

I know you wonder if I like you, I'm with you all the

DeShawn: 15:17

Right.

Skido: 15:19

I didn't like you being late today. You know what I'm saying? That don't

DeShawn: 15:22

mean I don't love you. You know, mean,

Skido: 15:25

we're when I say we're doing this show, we're gonna be so real with this. I might go left a couple of times, but we're not doing that, what everybody else is doing.

DeShawn: 15:34

No. Of course not.

Skido: 15:34

So when they come on this show, even, you know, we're gonna have you know, we got a lot

DeShawn: 15:38

of guests ready to And this celebrity,

Skido: 15:40

it got his favor. But me and you got something that's special, and and I respect everything you do. And I love the way you came out of what you came out of.

DeShawn: 15:49

Thank you.

Skido: 15:50

But a lot of women need to hear that. Yeah. Because you've been in a shell. And then and no. No.

Skido: 15:57

We we flipping it now.

DeShawn: 15:58

I'm popping

Skido: 15:58

out now. And and I shared a little bit of you. You didn't come from the little mansion. You didn't come from you came from Detroit.

DeShawn: 16:05

I came from Detroit.

Skido: 16:06

And you and you kinda lost yourself doing all of that.

DeShawn: 16:09

Me and yourself I indulge. I

Skido: 16:12

you had

DeShawn: 16:14

I was in my bubble for like most of my adult life, so

Skido: 16:19

No, but no.

DeShawn: 16:19

But that bubble's But

Skido: 16:20

the bubble is what where where you came from, there's nothing wrong with it. What we're saying is anybody could get caught up.

DeShawn: 16:27

Oh, absolutely. Absolutely.

Skido: 16:28

So you it's not

DeShawn: 16:28

But my foundation is the reason why I didn't break.

Skido: 16:31

Yeah. Because Yeah.

DeShawn: 16:33

You know what I'm saying?

Skido: 16:33

But What I'm saying is when we was talking is, where you came from was from humble beginnings.

DeShawn: 16:40

Absolutely.

Skido: 16:41

Where you went was on mansions and and caught up in and what's and what you and who you are is you want the best. That's cool. But what balances you, you can never that's what keeps the balance when you bring what you came from into reality. So when you look, when you when you're there and you you get to the bubble, some people get in that bubble and forget it. It's nothing.

Skido: 17:04

It's it's okay. But that is what the balance is when you come from that, is that to remember to bring it in front of you so you can never get caught up in a bubble. And sometimes with that, it could go into friendships and relationships and marriages where you you you get caught up in the hype that you forget the details of little things that's But, you know, we go into that. But

DeShawn: 17:25

Yeah. But, you know, that's why I always say, like, God can trust me this next time around.

Skido: 17:28

Oh, really? Why? Why do say that?

DeShawn: 17:31

Because I'm a totally different person.

Skido: 17:32

Really?

DeShawn: 17:32

Yeah. And so I think it's different. I think it's different now.

Skido: 17:36

It is? Yeah. What's different?

DeShawn: 17:38

I'm different. You know what I'm saying? Like, so when you go when you have different.

Skido: 17:42

Don't And, let's take out the are you kicking me to stop Oh, know. I hope you're not. Keep going. I said, let's keep it a hundred. No, know, I keep it real.

Skido: 17:55

You've got me on this show. I ain't gonna stop talking. But, I I respect you, d, because I I know you. But and when you explain things to me and I've been in this game a long time. I wasn't on TV, but I I always been behind the scenes.

Skido: 18:11

And people lose themselves. Yeah. Not a bad thing. You pink

DeShawn: 18:15

kid. Natural.

Skido: 18:16

But the snapping out of that reality or delusion and what oh, oh, oh, no. No. No. No. You gotta get you gotta get back to

DeShawn: 18:24

Well, sometimes life can snap you out of it.

Skido: 18:26

Yeah. Life can snap you out of it. Life can

DeShawn: 18:28

you out of to

Skido: 18:29

them how you got in it and what happened, and how did you get out of it. How are you coming out of it? Can you tell me that?

DeShawn: 18:36

Sure. Which part?

Skido: 18:38

Let's start from what what you wanna go from the humble beginnings?

DeShawn: 18:42

Where do wanna start from? I'm from Detroit, Michigan. Okay. Grew up in Southwest Detroit.

Skido: 18:46

Yeah.

DeShawn: 18:47

Yeah. Went to college in Michigan. That's where I met my then husband, my college sweetheart.

Skido: 18:54

Name? They wanna know the name. What's the

DeShawn: 18:58

Eric Snow.

Skido: 18:59

What do you want me to remix? I don't want ain't saying this. Everybody in the world

DeShawn: 19:04

know We, you know, we dated all throughout college. Okay. Then graduated, and he went into the pros. And I actually had my degree in marketing, and I had a job as a branch manager trainee. So I was in Detroit, and I was like, well, I'm not gonna come.

DeShawn: 19:19

You know, I wanna make sure that's what you want and all of that. And so but by that Christmas so he got drafted by Seattle, and then that Christmas by Christmas time, he proposed that first Christmas.

Skido: 19:30

Oh, from college, straight proposed, but you you was So when we got

DeShawn: 19:33

married to two years later. Yeah. So, no. And so I was yeah, I had a job, and then when I moved to Seattle, I got because I was working in the banking industry, so I got a job there.

Skido: 19:42

Okay.

DeShawn: 19:42

So I remember even during the playoffs, like, all the wives and girlfriends was going, and I was studying getting my series six in '63. But as soon as I got married, then I stopped working. But Okay. For the bank. Yeah.

DeShawn: 19:57

So anyways, had a good marriage, you know, until it wasn't. And then

Skido: 20:02

What happened?

DeShawn: 20:04

We grew apart. It was a lot of things.

Skido: 20:07

What happened? We're not we aren't why are you putting me on this show?

DeShawn: 20:10

He divorced

Skido: 20:11

me. You no. No.

DeShawn: 20:12

So we're divorced. He divorced me. He filed for divorce.

Skido: 20:14

But what happened? See, you're going this is what I'm trying to say. We're over the divorce. Everybody in the world knows about it. I want you to tell them.

Skido: 20:23

They wanna know and I what happened? What you think happened?

DeShawn: 20:29

My part in it is I didn't we grew apart, apparently. But I was kinda caught up in myself, too, a lot.

Skido: 20:41

Okay.

DeShawn: 20:42

And there's a lot of miss you know, a lot of things that I, you know, I wasn't doing. I don't know.

Skido: 20:47

This ain't the blame game.

DeShawn: 20:48

Right.

Skido: 20:49

Right. I just try don't blame yourself because right, wrong, wrong is right. I'm trying to where do you okay. This is for everybody that's got caught up in that bubble. Let's free people.

Skido: 20:57

This is to show that we're not doing that.

DeShawn: 20:59

So when it happens, okay, and then when it's over, then you fear like, because I felt my life was over. I felt I couldn't live without him. Right? Okay. But obviously, you know, that wasn't the case.

DeShawn: 21:09

So I had to go through a period because even though I had my own foundation helping teenage girls with self esteem issues, I had my own real estate brokerage, EDJ Realty. I was doing stuff. I was a business person, but, you know, I was a wife, I was a mother, I was I was I was happy to have those titles. So when you're no longer that, then you're kinda like, well, who am I? So I went through a period of that, and then and then I went through a period where I didn't even want to, like, play life.

DeShawn: 21:36

Like, I I I didn't like it. I didn't like my situation, and I didn't, you know so I just checked out, you know?

Skido: 21:42

So you checked out is what made him check out?

DeShawn: 21:44

No, no. This is I'm talking post divorce.

Skido: 21:47

Okay. But but I'm trying to get it from the the beginning. You're going too far ahead. Come on. You you keep going

DeShawn: 21:53

around

DeShawn: 21:53

it

DeShawn: 21:54

and get to

Skido: 21:53

So he

DeShawn: 21:53

divorced me. Had he had another family.

Skido: 22:06

During your marriage? He had another family?

DeShawn: 22:08

Toward the end.

Skido: 22:09

And this is when you had the real estate, when you was getting

DeShawn: 22:11

married? Well, was after, because once I got on the show, I stopped doing all of that.

Skido: 22:15

Okay. Where did you see I'm just I'm trying

DeShawn: 22:18

to figure I mean, I found out at the end.

Skido: 22:20

At the end, you found

DeShawn: 22:21

I mean, he told me in advance, and then we were working on it, and then we weren't. I thought we were working on it, and then he said he wanted divorce.

Skido: 22:29

Okay. Do you feel you

DeShawn: 22:30

got No. And

Skido: 22:31

I this is indeed this is people that's in it now. Yes. Where did you feel like y'all y'all were probably sweet and cute along in the beginning.

DeShawn: 22:40

I didn't know that things were like they were.

Skido: 22:43

Why?

DeShawn: 22:44

I don't maybe because I was just delusional or whatever. It's not like, you know, people assume that, you know, it was this bad marriage and he was doing all this, and that was not case. Wasn't my truth. You know what I mean?

Skido: 22:54

Alright.

DeShawn: 22:55

So I didn't I didn't know.

Skido: 22:56

He didn't treat you wrong or abuse you and do the crazy No.

DeShawn: 22:59

He was a great husband.

Skido: 23:00

Was a good but there

DeShawn: 23:01

was a certain And a father, a great father.

Skido: 23:03

But but can I ask you something?

DeShawn: 23:04

Sure.

Skido: 23:05

Based on you coming not and not this is he's wrong for that, period. No. I but but no. No. Everybody tries to blame himself.

Skido: 23:13

Let's let me this is my opinion.

DeShawn: 23:16

I wasn't

Skido: 23:16

You was in college. You was driven. You had career, things you wanted to do in life.

DeShawn: 23:21

Yes.

Skido: 23:22

Being with him enhanced that to make it easier. And then y'all both got into the life of success. Do you feel once you started the high life and even his success is your success because you're still driven that you started to get into your funding and brand and kind of forget a little bit about him? Because, you know, men are like kids. We need to have attention to certain things, but remember, you're still career driven.

Skido: 23:47

There's nothing wrong with your career in your But marriage is a whole

DeShawn: 23:51

another move. I dropped the ball a lot of the times. Okay.

Skido: 23:53

So

DeShawn: 23:54

I had I started my own well, the foundation was, you know, that didn't take me away, but EDJ Realty. Okay. So I got my real estate license, and I really just got license because I think he was telling me no about something. And so I was like, well, I'm just gonna work and make my own money.

Skido: 24:10

So was telling you know about what?

DeShawn: 24:12

Landscaping at the house in Ohio, which is not our main house.

Skido: 24:16

Okay.

DeShawn: 24:16

So it didn't make sense to do all of that in a house that's not your main house, but I wanted it.

Skido: 24:21

Okay.

DeShawn: 24:21

So I was like, I'll just go get a job and make my own money.

Skido: 24:24

So he well, I mean, he was talking to you as a husband Yeah. About something, but you was like, well, if you ain't gonna get I'm a go get my own whatever.

DeShawn: 24:32

Like, he That was just kinda what I was on.

Skido: 24:33

You was on. And so so you you kinda was, like, kinda little arrogant, like, you're hard headed, like, you know

DeShawn: 24:39

My hard headed.

Skido: 24:40

Not the wife

DeShawn: 24:41

because one of the things

Skido: 24:41

like this, and I said we're not doing I don't wanna do anything like I

DeShawn: 24:45

wasn't like, whatever, but I was just like, whatever, but not like

Skido: 24:48

What did you just say?

DeShawn: 24:49

I wasn't like, in your face whatever.

Skido: 24:51

No, no, you just twisted that. You it was whatever.

DeShawn: 24:54

Okay.

Skido: 24:54

Okay. You just went in a whole circle. I don't know what that is. We ain't doing

DeShawn: 24:57

Okay. Anyway, the point is Okay. The point is so I went to go get my real estate license, and I think anybody that knows a lot of people Okay. You should definitely get because you can always do referrals. And so, the realtor that I was working with well, actually, we was getting the house here, so I know the realtor I was working with that bought the house here

Skido: 25:15

Mhmm.

DeShawn: 25:15

I realized that she was working for someone else. Like, she was a broker for someone else's company.

Skido: 25:21

Mhmm.

DeShawn: 25:21

And so I was gonna get a real estate license and do it with that, but I was like, well, I might as well just have my own company. Then, I was never a broker, I just hired a broker.

Skido: 25:30

So you had people working for you?

DeShawn: 25:31

Yeah, and I had the broker managing the thing. Okay. So it went from not just me getting my license, but me running a company. Okay. So that required me not necessarily required me I was back and forth from Ohio to Atlanta.

DeShawn: 25:43

Our main house was in Atlanta. I was in Atlanta Three To Four Days a week.

Skido: 25:46

So, basically, not to cut you off, so let's get back to the husband and wife thing. So, you got So,

DeShawn: 25:53

I opened the door. I had no business going back and forth like that, like I needed a job.

Skido: 25:58

So, basically, what people need to understand is a marriage is a partnership.

DeShawn: 26:02

Is a partnership.

Skido: 26:03

There's a king and there's a queen.

DeShawn: 26:05

Absolutely.

Skido: 26:06

Some of y'all I'm not and I'm the king. Ain't no woman trying to be the king with me. And now let me let me get that in my words. I don't want y'all be be out here protesting against me, which I don't really give a shit. But what I'm saying, this is skit skito talking.

Skido: 26:22

I'm a treat my queen like she a queen, but she gotta know she a queen. We don't need two men in the house. The thing with these women, when a man's successful, they still need that lady. They need that. Because a man is that nurturing thing.

DeShawn: 26:33

Mhmm.

Skido: 26:33

Kings always need nurturing. You know what I'm saying? But a but a king also nurtures his wife. Right. But if you want some other things of boss stuff and all of that, and you it's you're automatic separating the bond, not judging it.

Skido: 26:48

It's okay because everybody's young and

DeShawn: 26:50

No, but I didn't go about it right. I mean, I was my my motivations weren't it was not family first.

Skido: 26:57

Oh, okay.

DeShawn: 26:57

So I acknowledge that. You know,

Skido: 26:59

so I

DeShawn: 26:59

Well, that's real. Part of the reason, you know, we're not together. I acknowledge my part in it, you know. Especially when you when you're healing, you have to it's not about the other person, it's about you. So what was the part that you played in it?

DeShawn: 27:12

So I definitely played that part. I was me focused, and it was what I wanted, and so I just did what I wanted I mean, my cousin lived with us, so she helped with the kids. I could go back and forth. I was allowed to go back and forth, and so I went back and forth, but I should have kept my butt home.

Skido: 27:28

What would you not and it's not to get let's we what would you do different?

DeShawn: 27:33

I would stay

Skido: 27:34

The same what would you do different What

DeShawn: 27:36

I would do different for you?

Skido: 27:37

To help the people that's in that right now before they started?

DeShawn: 27:41

Be a team. And and let him know. I mean, because Eric was always very supportive.

Skido: 27:47

Okay.

DeShawn: 27:47

So, I would've it's not like, oh, sweetheart, I have this burning desire to open up a real estate firm. That was kinda like, oh, you telling me no, let me go my license. Oh, I'm not gonna go work for somebody else, I'll just work for myself. And it just kinda snowballed from there. And then I was, like, doing stuff, I was in the community, and I was, like, doing I was my own person, I was Deshaun.

DeShawn: 28:06

I mean, was still Eric's wife, but I was making moves.

Skido: 28:09

Mhmm.

DeShawn: 28:10

Not as his wife, but as me. Mhmm. So, you know, I got caught up in that. Mhmm. But in hindsight, I shouldn't have never done any of that, because he provided a wonderful home.

DeShawn: 28:22

There was really ever no lack. That was all from my ambitions. I was overly ambitious

Skido: 28:27

Okay, lady.

DeShawn: 28:28

And I didn't have the right order. So everything you're saying, which is true, like, I wanna be a queen, and I ain't trying to be no king. And even then, though, I don't think it was I was consciously trying to be a king. I was just like, well, telling me, no, I'm a just go to

Skido: 28:49

Okay.

DeShawn: 28:49

I mean, it really started from telling me.

Skido: 28:51

That's cool. That's what it is. But

DeShawn: 28:54

But I'm no longer that person.

Skido: 28:56

So This is

DeShawn: 28:57

the main thing. Because I can praise God about it, because I'm no longer that person. So I can talk about it now.

Skido: 29:01

That's what's up.

DeShawn: 29:02

I'm not a person.

Skido: 29:03

I wanna tell you something. This wasn't personal for us, for me, because I don't I know your whole thing. This was for everybody else that's getting caught up in that. You know, you know my love for you. You're my sis.

Skido: 29:15

So but at the end of the day, if we we can help we can help each other, because this show is gonna be about helping us get better. Mhmm. But we also helping everybody else. Don't get caught up in it.

DeShawn: 29:25

Don't get caught up.

Skido: 29:25

You understand what saying? Don't get caught If you got a good man, which I see he

DeShawn: 29:28

looked like That's a man.

Skido: 29:29

He didn't fight it. But he had needs, and he felt like, you when you was on that, can't tell me what to do. I'm a do what I do. And he

DeShawn: 29:37

But not really disrespectful. He could

Skido: 29:39

have been aggressive, like, y'all could have been like, yo, you talk like, it could have been that. He was when men get quiet me tell you something, when men get quiet

DeShawn: 29:47

They check up.

Skido: 29:47

And they be like and they ain't gotta hit you. There's good men out here. They ain't gotta do nothing. When they can start getting quiet, there's a problem. And then what happens, the more quiet, because he's not saying nothing, your ego, whatever, driven is getting bigger.

Skido: 30:01

So now, because nobody's checking it, that thing is a monster now. And nothing towards you. You got women don't know that. They be thinking that, oh, got my man good, he good, you so lost that he's quiet. He's like, oh, okay.

Skido: 30:15

He don't feel like a king, he don't feel like the provider, he's giving you, he's doing the best he can, because people has ambition and drive, which is good, you could work with them, but when men get quiet, ladies

DeShawn: 30:28

This is facts.

Skido: 30:28

Understand something, and and and that's when it's bad. When they not arguing with you, they're not debating when they get you shut him down. And when he shut down, that's how the next woman come. And it don't mean that he loves the woman. He don't even care about it.

Skido: 30:44

Don't lose yourself thinking, that woman was better than you, and she might be, you're pretty, is she ugly, or whatever. It wasn't about the look. At that moment, he felt like the weakest. And this is from a man's perspective. He felt like, damn, I got the world and my woman still I still can't get her to respect me.

Skido: 31:05

Respect Well,

DeShawn: 31:05

I don't think I ever disrespect No,

Skido: 31:06

no, You disrespect when you go against what he's saying. And I'm giving you from our side. You can hold this.

DeShawn: 31:14

No. This is real talk.

Skido: 31:15

You know what I'm saying?

DeShawn: 31:16

This is this is he definitely We're

Skido: 31:18

being 10 steps ahead. This is what it's all about. So right now is if if if I'm saying things and you block it, that is that's that's that's what it is. So they shut down, and then they look. You know what I'm saying?

Skido: 31:31

But and then it it don't mean nothing to the person they with. Believe me, deep in his heart, he this he loved his family. Mhmm. This is the what I'm hearing he's a great person. Mhmm.

Skido: 31:41

Yes. And not to judge. He made a mistake. I know he regrets that.

DeShawn: 31:44

We're making mistakes.

Skido: 31:45

The way he handled it. And I know the way you did, you had, you regret it. But now, we're about to make this better. So now, coming out of this, we're gonna do better. So and they needed to hear that.

DeShawn: 31:55

And you do not And you're right, because, you know, afterwards, I would wonder, like, how is this so easy? How is this so easy? But because he had already checked out, so men do check out. Can still be there doing all the things, but checked out. And then, I'm so not even in tune Mhmm.

DeShawn: 32:17

To even know that he checked out. That's all on me.

Skido: 32:19

Driven. It's not

DeShawn: 32:21

I mean, I was driven, but I was also it wasn't an ambition. I mean, was a little ambition, but it was me just wanting to be me.

Skido: 32:29

Yeah. Yeah. You could do that when you're single and you're doing all that. Marriage is a whole another animal.

DeShawn: 32:34

No.

Skido: 32:35

Not to judge you you that's what I said. You would definitely be a different found Luther. You'll be a different person because we learn.

DeShawn: 32:41

Mhmm.

Skido: 32:42

Right? But I'm telling you, you're helping. They really wanted to know. I know that. And this is and this is the thing about it.

Skido: 32:47

You know me. I'm not we're not this show is I know. Had a we had an agreement. You said, we're not dancing around shit. And I'm a keep it real with you, but we're not gonna you know, I don't know how to dance, do the dance thing.

DeShawn: 32:57

Yes.

Skido: 32:58

So, but so, you know, I might be the host today, you have another host tomorrow. Don't call me, because you know what it is. At the same time, I applaud you because when they get from the show, we're gonna get somebody's gonna be delivered

DeShawn: 33:11

from Oh, for sure.

Skido: 33:12

For You're gonna save other marriages, and they're gonna actually stop what they doing and go, wait a minute. Because when you lose something, ain't a lot of good men out there.

DeShawn: 33:21

Oh, And

Skido: 33:21

ain't a lot of good women out there. So at the same time, this is this is this is we just wanted to get all this out the way, all the junk out

DeShawn: 33:29

of No. But these are these are great points because it is true, and and this is, like, how I will be different in my next marriage, for sure.

Skido: 33:35

Oh,

DeShawn: 33:35

okay. I think Eric was a great man, and I just had a lot of liberties that I took.

Skido: 33:41

Mhmm. Got you.

DeShawn: 33:42

And I was, know but we don't we don't get a manual in how to do it. Know I'm saying? I was supposed to break the generational curse. You know, my mom my parents were divorced. You know what I'm saying?

DeShawn: 33:51

It's not like I had a lot of stuff, but you kinda get into a life and you just get into a world and and it went to my head, I guess. If that's what you wanna call it.

Skido: 34:02

Hey, we we we both we

DeShawn: 34:03

both take care But the thing is, though, what happens is because God, you know, God gives us grace, of course, but when he has a calling and a purpose for your life, he not gonna just sit around forever waiting on you. Yeah, you're he see you not moving quick enough, then he will snatch everything from you.

Skido: 34:20

Oh, And

DeShawn: 34:21

so that's what he did. He snatched everything from me. He brought me to my knees, and I think he wouldn't have I wouldn't know him the way that I do if that not had happened. So, he had to take it from me. So, when I look back on things, I don't look at it as like, oh, he left me this and that.

DeShawn: 34:38

Mean, I have my moments, but I realized it was it had to been that way. Does that make sense?

Skido: 34:46

I'm a ask you something. When you lost when you got stripped from everything, because we all we all been through something like that, Did you hate God or did you thank him?

DeShawn: 34:57

I don't know that I thanked him. I def never hated him.

Skido: 34:59

You know, angry. You're upset.

DeShawn: 35:01

Angry. Yeah. Yeah. No. Angry.

DeShawn: 35:02

No. Wasn't angry. I was angry with myself.

Skido: 35:04

Okay. But you never blamed God?

DeShawn: 35:06

I was never blamed God. I mean, I still deal with shame and guilt, you know. A lot of times I feel like, you know, my sisters and them, they'll say, you know, Shonda, that cookie was gonna crumble. You know what I'm saying? It was gonna crumble anyways.

DeShawn: 35:18

Like, I feel like if if I did this or if I did this or I didn't do this, you know, so I take blank, you know, I feel

Skido: 35:25

That's how you still feel today?

DeShawn: 35:27

Sometimes it's still creepy. It's remnants of that.

Skido: 35:30

So I'm a give you a thing of feeling guilty, y'all. Don't.

DeShawn: 35:35

Right. Because God forgave us. No condemnation in God.

Skido: 35:37

Yeah. But I know. But I think they need to really understand what guilt is. Right? That's something that makes you suffer.

Skido: 35:45

Mhmm. And God don't want you to suffer. You know what I'm saying? First of all, when you've done something and everybody that's looking in this camera and understand, there's no person without fault in this world. Stop.

Skido: 35:56

Y'all just do things that people just don't know about it, or or it's about there's a lot of things people are doing that ain't been exposed. Stop. That's what's you see what's going on out here. Right?

DeShawn: 36:05

Yeah.

Skido: 36:05

So, you know, when God says stop, he means stop. He's either going to strip you or he's going to expose you. Y'all understand that? Yeah. So, those are the two things, strip you or expose you, meaning you're not getting away with nothing.

Skido: 36:17

Right. So, your best thing is start doing the right thing. He's giving you mercy and grace to do the right thing. So when he say he forgive you, it's over. Look at that because nobody can throw nothing at nobody.

Skido: 36:29

I just wanted to let the people know that, you know you know, if you've done something, shake it off, you know, get back on your feet, God forgave you, The world will always throw stones. That's how people are. But once your man that gives you air to breathe and move around

DeShawn: 36:43

You better preach.

Skido: 36:44

No. I'm not don't start that. You're it, and I gotta chill on me. What the heck

DeShawn: 36:50

is that? Know I'm a minister too, though. Right?

Skido: 36:54

That's no. No. No. Not you. We're not doing that.

Skido: 36:56

You know I'm saying?

DeShawn: 36:57

We're not doing that.

Skido: 36:58

It's okay.

DeShawn: 36:59

Alright. Life. Deep.

Skido: 37:01

Yeah. Alright. So, anyway, we got therapy, we got ministry, we got all kinds of stuff going on, and we all off. By the end of the day, we we gotta save some lives out here. So if this helps the next woman or man, just don't give up if they're good, I'm telling you, because when you lose them, it takes a long time to get them.

Skido: 37:23

And Yeah. Dee could tell you right now, it's hard for her to find a good man. She's she's she's a beautiful woman, a successful woman, but she's not just settling for anything because she knows what good is.

DeShawn: 37:36

And I know what love feels like.

Skido: 37:38

And you know what it is They

DeShawn: 37:39

truly love me. So I've I've experienced that. So you can't give me a counterfeit.

Skido: 37:44

Oh, I like that word, counterfeit. Don't y'all been getting along with the y'all been getting with the counterfeits, and that's why y'all been don't listen, man. A man gonna be a man. Right. You know what I'm saying?

Skido: 37:55

A man don't need a woman to take care of Right. That's another sign. I done been in

DeShawn: 37:59

Well, I that's foreign to

Skido: 38:00

me. Yeah. But that ain't foreign today. I see women

DeShawn: 38:02

I know. I see.

Skido: 38:03

Credit cards doing this and doing that. I'm not saying you're not holding him down and he's not doing something. But when they sit in there, you you got it, I lost my wallet, and doing all that, these are all bad signs. You It's a different world today. The ones that got marriages and the ones that are on

DeShawn: 38:20

Worked

Skido: 38:20

out. Caught up in the bubble and got lost, I think they needed to hear that from you. And I I appreciate that, Will. Was going Yeah. Thought you was kicking me to stop, because I wasn't stopping.

Skido: 38:31

I don't care how your heels look, but what's going on. So, but No.

DeShawn: 38:34

It's important, like, keep keep God first and keep you know what I'm saying? If you now it just it does take two, but, you know and another thing I will always say is remember you're always on the same team. Yes. Because, like, your teammate don't want bad for you. Yeah.

DeShawn: 38:47

So if your teammate falls short, it's not because you know, you you're not defensive because you know he got your back, it's your teammate. Exactly. But when you don't realize that y'all on the same team, then you're like, oh, this and all that, you know what I'm saying? So, I think next time around, you know, definitely, you know, my mate is my teammate, which he was my teammate anyways, but just realizing that. King is first, and, like, I don't wanna do I mean, so what I will do, what I've learned, because, like, I closed my real estate company, so now I'm with Sotheby's, but I closed that before, like, during Housewives and stuff.

DeShawn: 39:20

But, like, I wish I never shut everything down because then I had to start over. Could've just went back Everything happened Reese. Happened for

Skido: 39:26

You can't stop what was destined. Yeah, that's true. We we we good off of that. So, that note, I'm proud of you, man. Thank you, Steve.

Skido: 39:34

I see that. I see you working out doing push ups boxing. Like, was like, yo, she about to get do what she doing? I Yeah. Doing something.

Skido: 39:40

You don't I seen you couple of months ago. You know, I had the restaurant up there. You know, we did the thing. And and I was like, yo, d, I was he was like, yo, I'm on a mission. And when you told me, yo, I saw you going to some whole matrix workout, kick ass.

Skido: 39:55

I'm like, yo, d getting it. You know what I'm saying? And I was, you know, I was proud of that. And I've seen your whole mindset's different. You feel lighter.

DeShawn: 40:02

You lighter. I'm trying to, like, live like know, instead of acting happy, I want to be happy. Because I know how to I act happy.

Skido: 40:11

Yeah. Yeah.

DeShawn: 40:12

You just do the things.

Skido: 40:13

But I want to really

DeShawn: 40:15

Everybody's acting happy. But I want to really be happy. Yeah. And I know happiness is fleeting, it's emotional. Mean, really, thing is joy, right?

DeShawn: 40:21

You're supposed to have regardless of circumstances. Yeah. So I have joy, or I'm working towards joy, but I want happiness too.

Skido: 40:27

Yeah.

DeShawn: 40:27

I want happiness too.

Skido: 40:28

Yeah. Yeah. And you know what? I think I want everybody to be happy. I don't like misery around me.

DeShawn: 40:34

Yeah. I'm not miserable, but I'm not content. Yeah. But I'm trying to be because I don't because I know so much in store. There's so much Well,

Skido: 40:41

we got five, four you know, gotta watch everything. I'm watching you. I'm watching the clock. I'm watching and listen. We keeping it real here because this is our first podcast, so we're getting the feel.

Skido: 40:51

What you see, we're killing it. So you might see me look over here, look over there. We're not this is we're be who we're be. You know what saying? I don't even know how much time.

Skido: 40:59

I know there's a time. Think it's 45. Right? So we're good. We're wrapping it up.

Skido: 41:03

We gotta do this.

DeShawn: 41:04

We'll catch you on the next side.

Skido: 41:05

We'll catch you on the next side.

DeShawn: 41:06

Because you got interesting stories.

Skido: 41:07

Oh, we got you.

DeShawn: 41:08

Got, you know because now you're transitioning from the behind the scenes to in front of the scenes. I wanna talk to you all about that in the next episode.

Skido: 41:16

Oh my goodness. And then we gotta talk about a lot of things that's going on out here. Yeah.

DeShawn: 41:20

Hot And our

Skido: 41:20

perspectives on the hot topics and everything, how we feel about it and the things that are going on. Man, I'm loving this.

DeShawn: 41:26

I'm loving it.

Skido: 41:26

We're 10 Steps Ahead, boxed. We go this is chess, baby, not checkers.

DeShawn: 41:31

Let's go. That. Let's go.

Skido: 41:33

Like right now, man. So So let's get it going. 10 Steps Ahead. We're looking forward to it, man. I'm blessed right now, d.

Skido: 41:39

I'm blessed to

DeShawn: 41:40

be sharing

Skido: 41:40

the stage

DeShawn: 41:41

with you. This journey with you.

Skido: 41:42

Oh, let's go, man. We got a lot to go. Let's go. Alright.

DeShawn: 41:46

Alright. Love and light.

Skido: 41:47

Love and light. Let's go.